Posts Tagged ‘Women’

chaar log....

“WO Chaar Log”…. Areeee Nooo, PLEASE DON’T TAKE ME WRONG… I am not talking about those four people who offer their shoulder for taking one to his/her final journey. God Forbid.

I am talking about the people around us, the society which we are a part of.

You must have heard about this “Chaar log sunege tho kya kahenge? “. Fear of what people will say If they come to know about your actions ( of course not the offensive ones), thinking, sexual orientation, educational background, financial status, Marital relations and the list is never ending, perhaps there is no field of our life which goes untouched of this fear.

This syndrome of “Fear of Social acceptance” affects people irrespective of their caste, creed, religion, race and nationality and have successfully crossed boundaries.

When I was a bit overweight, people used to say “why don’t you lose some weight? You will look good” and now when I have lost weight, they say… hey what happened? Is everything alright? Why you have become so thin? And they start speculating about what might be happening in my life that has made me so thin. Log kaise bhi nahin jeene dete. I was fed up and stressed. And I ended up at a hospital for a complete health check up. There also, the doctor started laughing at me and said that when people want to lose weight and look nice why you want to gain weightYou are weird.  Abb main kya batati, that I was all caught up in a vicious circle.

All this happened because I tried to please people. I was affected by what they think of me and wanted me to become or look like. But I forgot that people won’t spare you either way.

I am sure that most of you must be having a similar story as mine. We often tend to take big decisions of our life in influence of social fear. And we regret that later. We like to take those fields as career which rate high on the yardstick of social acclaim, no matter what we like and what we are interested in, and apply the same when it comes to taking decisions for our children. No matter how good one is at painting per banana tho engineer ya doctor hi hai, chahe bar bar fail ho kar, 4 saal ke course ko 6 saal main Karen. If someone questions you about your decisions, confront them on their face. Let them know firmly that you are happy with what you are doing and they better don’t poke their nose in your matter. Lekin pehle samne wale ki aur apni strength compare kar lena. A disclaimer: Please try this at your own risk.

Warning: Parents should never leave their wards unattended while they deal with your relatives in this matter.     😉

Look I fear of this so much ki muje “disclaimer and warning” article ke beech main likh di. So, that baad main no one gets a chance to blame me.

Life is too short to be lived on the terms of other people. Because they don’t know what we went through, what are we good at and what potential we have inside ourselves?

And please never ever become one of those four people (wo chaar log). Don’t try to make people what you want them to. Don’t roam around with an invisible yard stick in your hand..that “ I did this when I was in that class and I behaved like that when I was of that age”. Believe me people will start hating you and will try to avoid you.

So, just love yourself don’t try to pretend what you are not, and the world will love you back for sure.

While writing for some Indian website, I used this verse “Athithi Devo Bhava”but the moment I wrote I was forced by my inner self to take a deep plunge into the thoughts and I asked myself am I writing it correctly.  The attacks by our own countrymen on our foreign guests, weak minorities made me think about this. Perhaps this feeling of hospitality is applicable only to our acquaintances and relatives who visit us at our home and in many cases even” THIS” is also not true.

Although our media always remains busy accusing other countries where Indians are being attacked but why they forget about our own country? Not only females from other countries are subjected to exploitation here but also their male counterparts are exposed to these crimes.

I still do remember an incidence, a few years back when I was back to home after appearing for an M.B.A. exam..I noticed a foreigner (a lady) on the bus terminal standing beside me, waiting for the bus and talking to her friend and asking him to receive her at a midway stoppage.

We boarded the bus; she stepped down at her destination while I still had to travel for nearly 2 hours more. It was 1:30 pm, I too came down to had a cup of tea, where it was very awful to notice that her friend didn’t turn up and she was standing there surrounded by at least 13-14 rickshaw walas and owners of nearby tea stalls. All commenting on her and laughing at her, using very obscene language as she couldn’t understand even a word of Hindi.

A co passenger asked me to help her and asked me if I know English. But I couldn’t gather the courage to make my way into that circle of beasts and approach her to offer help. Reason for this may be that I was a bit young and immature also I was accompanied by only a female member of my family or you can say I was simply short of the courage needed at that time. I failed to help her. I could have informed the police but it didn’t come to my mind. After few minutes I saw her going with one of themGod knows what happened to her next..she safely reached her destination or not..I don’t know. But still sometimes whenever I sit alone, I still get horrified with its memories and is filled with guilt up to neck. I really feel ashamed that on that day all my education went into vain. I write for national and International clients but all my knowledge of this language “English” is worthless. I couldn’t utilize it to save some innocent person where question was just about communicating with her at the right time. I still feel if I can travel back into the past I would surely make things fall into right place.

While writing this caption “Athithi Devo Bhava” I forgot that I live in a country where our own women are not spared, where females are neither safe in the womb nor outside it. Incredible Indiatrue…. impossible to believe this. Image